She's like So whatever

Last night I had the first nightmare I have had in a long time. I have been raised to be scared of rapists, murders, etc. Well last night my mom and jesse were talking about sexual predators in the area and that's one of the last things i heard before i went to bed.
Well I think it was around 2 or 3 in the morning I woke up from a dream. In the dream i had been running away from home to my other house. When i was in oconto falls i was getting tired so i stuck up my thumb to hitchhike. This guy pulled over and asked me where i wanted to go. I said oconto and he said ok hop in. The look of him was just so scary i didn't want to but i didn't want to be rude either. So i got in and suddenly my dad and Denise were in front driving. The guy started poking me. With his elbow. Then his fingers. Finally he tried to touch me inappropriatly but thankfully we got to my house. I hopped out and the guy was giving me this evil smile. I've seen so many scary movies i know an evil smile when i see one. I told my dad to make sure all the doors and windows were locked and that nobody got in. I then woke up. The dream doesn't seem so bad I know. But I am extremely paranoid about that kind of thing. It was probably close to 60 or 70 degrees in my room and i covered up with 3 comforters. No matter how hard i tried i couldn't close my eyes. Hardly even to blink. I looked from side to side, positive someone was in my sisters bed waiting for me to make a move so they could kill me. I was afraid if i even put a toe over the bed it was immediatly get chopped off. So finally i put a pillow next to me on one side between me and the wall so no one could climb up and kill me. I then turned and stared out into my room. Waiting. I was finally calming a little bit. Well enough so i wasn't shaking any more when my bed started to shake on its own. I started hearing footsteps and doors open and close. I started praying. Dear god help me. I know i haven't been the best person ever but please help me. I can't close my eyes. I can't think. I can't do anything help me PLEASE. Amen. I grabbed the blanket i've had forever and a stuffed animal and clutched the necklace ian gave me in my hand tightly. No matter what nothing was changing. I kept thinking of scarier and scarier things. Just when I thought I was going to be awake for the rest of the night my sister cried out, "It's to hot." I breathed a sigh of relief and waited for her to talk more. It seemed like hours but she finally started yelling MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I peeked over a little and said, Mia? She looked up and saw me. I said hold on and turned on the light. I then asked her if anyone was in her bed. She said no and i peeked down more. No one. I quickly jumped down and scooped her up into my arms. I then opened my door slowly. No one. I ran and turned on the kitchen light. We then ran to my Moms room and told her. She prayed over us and brought us back to bed after all of us went to the bathroom. I also told her it didn't help that we left our door open. Just the screen door blocking us. I laid down and my mom left my door open with the kitchen light off. I fell asleep but again I dreamed. This time of someone in my room. They had already killed my whole family and they just wanted to talk to me. Just talk. Not kill. I was so nervous it was hard not to scream. But I managed and lived.



It probably didn't help that a couple of weeks ago I saw silence of the lambs. For those of you who don't know it's about this killer, Buffalo Bill, and a detective who enlists the help of the most dangerous criminal in the insane asylum. Hanabel the Canable. He gets out. The look of him is so scary. I just kept picturing those eyes in my sleep. Thankfully no one was in my house this morning.



Any way. Away from that. The song I chose for today is Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. I love this song so much. It's about a girl who likes a guy and he has a girlfriend but she knows he likes her and he knows she likes him. The girl keeps trying to steal the guy but the girlfriend clings tighter and tighter to him. The last dance was rather disappointing because the DJ didn't have this song. We were all rather put out because of it. Josh, Ians friend, on the other hand hates this song. With a very fiery passion. This weekend whenever I listened to it he yelled at me to turn it off or changed the lyrics to fit his mood. Such as: "hey hey you you i don't like your music. No way no way think you need some new songs" I like the lyrics "In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger. Cuz i can. Cuz i can do it better. There's no other so when's it gonna sink. Shes so stupid what the h#*& were you thinking!?" I love this video because the girlfriend is rather ugly.. and a tad bit geeky. Well more than a tad. And avril is rather cool and pretty in it. The guy could be better. :) but of course the lyrics:

Lyrics Avril Lavigne Lyrics

the video :)