Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love or whatever you call it

Well life is intresting I have to say. This weekend I got a haircut at Chameleons in greenbay. My mom is gettinga haircut there tomorow. I do like it but to get my hair straight it's going to take at least 2 hours. So i'm just going to put it up until it dries then take it down and straighten it. Today is one year for me and Ian. It's a little wierd because we're not getting each other anything until he's here in July. This morning I woke up to the telephone ringing. By the 20th ring I got up and answered. It was my dad wanting to talk to my brother. I go to the living room where he is sitting AWAKE watching my sister. I yell at him for not answering the phone and then give it to him. I then had to get my sister something to drink and her medicine because my brother has neglected to do so. Sometimes I wonder why he bothers getting up with her if he doesn't watch her in the first place.

Thursday night I think it was when i was rushed to the ER. I had major back pain and a fever so my mom took me in. It turns out i have a kidney infection. I'm put on pills for ten days. Go me! It was hard on saturday because i had a headache, leg ache, foot ache, back ache, and stomach ache. We also found out my grandma might have had a stroke so my aunt and uncle wanted to take her to the hospital but she refused to go. We're hoping she'll just get better and this whole thing will blow over.

Todays song is cupids chokehold by gymclassheros. My mom calls this song the badadada song because they say that repetedly throughout the song. I like this song because it's sweet how the guy talks about the girl. The best line i think in the song is If i had to choose her or the son I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun. My friends favorite line is we can be on the phone for three hours not saying on word and I would still cherish every moment. My dad says this song is a remake but I'm not sure. There are two songs my mom can't stand it's this one and Don't matter by aKon or the whiny song. But i think this song is really good actually. The way he found so many things to say about her and how hes explaining to his dad and mom that this girl is the girl he wants to marry. Heres the lyrics:


Cupid's Chokehold Lyrics

video:

Love lifts us up were we belong

Yesterday was beautiful. My friend invited me swimming. I went along of course because it was the first time i got to swim in the river all year. There was me, Lindsey, Kelsey, Jared, Joe, Jamie, and Briley. After a while it was just me, Lindsey and Briley. Then just me and Lindsey. We talked about so many wierd things. While we were sitting there criticizing people's tans saying whose looked fake and whose didn't and such it hit me we were freshman. No long middle schoolers. But completely and utterly highschoolers. I told her and we jumped and hugged and laughed. We then decided to lay down to tan and talk because we were bored. Shortly after laying down my mom pulled up. My mom said i looked like a lobster. Well when i tried to go to sleep last night I nearly cried. I had to lay on my side with my arm over my head and with my shirt completely off my back. I'm am so red I make an apple look pale. I was going to go to my great grandma's house today but I'd have to be sitting with my back not touching anything for three hours straight. So i stayed home. This morning my sister started yelling at me to get me out of bed. She was spazzing because her mommy and daddy weren't home. Then she burst into tears because she wanted 'cuddle' time. I, having just gotten out of bed in excrutiating pain, was not in the mood. I got her her medicine and she didn't like the juice I got her. So of course i got her plain old skim milk instead. Aren't I the nicest of sisters?

The dream I had last night was deeply amusing. My mom just bought my stepdad a grill for fathers day. In my dream I asked what they were going to do with the old grill and my mom said just throw it away and i got mad. I said i wanted a new ipod so if i got one would i just throw away my old one? We then got into a furocious argument. I was yelling that i wanted an orange ipod nano. They don't make them of course. She was saying I didnt' need one because i already had a blue ipod mini. I said the mini was to BIG. In fact it looked ginormous to me. She said i should be gald i ahve one and am not just stuck with a cd player. I said it wasn't thanks to her, it was because my dad got it. We then fought more. Really wierd dream because i guess i'm ok with my ipod i mean it is kinda big but thats because all my friends have nanos but i was one of the first people in the school to have an ipod. I got mine in sixth grade when all my friends got theres this past year in 8th grade.
The music I've been listening to lately is stuff by manhattan transfer. I don't know most of their songs but i listen to "Boy from New York City", "Trickle, Trickle", "Operator", and "Java Jive". But those aren't the songs for today. I'm going to talk about Moulin Rouge. For those of you who haven't seen this it's a MUST see. It's a musical about love. The main line is 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love. And be loved in return.' A man trying to find love and falls for a girl. It's so sweet. Well my friends have seen it because i Have made them see it. My friend, Kelsey, says that her favorite part is where the dwarf says "We are the childwen of the Revowution!" My favorite part in this musical is the Elephant Love Melody. It's a mix of many different love songs put together. It starts out as fun then slows then up again. The man is begging for the girl to give him a chance to love her. See if they can be together. She doesn't want to because she sells her body to the night or in other words shes a prostitute. lyrics:

Elephant Love Medley Lyrics

There is no video except for the movie one and I'm not going to spoil that for you so tata!

She's like So whatever

Last night I had the first nightmare I have had in a long time. I have been raised to be scared of rapists, murders, etc. Well last night my mom and jesse were talking about sexual predators in the area and that's one of the last things i heard before i went to bed.
Well I think it was around 2 or 3 in the morning I woke up from a dream. In the dream i had been running away from home to my other house. When i was in oconto falls i was getting tired so i stuck up my thumb to hitchhike. This guy pulled over and asked me where i wanted to go. I said oconto and he said ok hop in. The look of him was just so scary i didn't want to but i didn't want to be rude either. So i got in and suddenly my dad and Denise were in front driving. The guy started poking me. With his elbow. Then his fingers. Finally he tried to touch me inappropriatly but thankfully we got to my house. I hopped out and the guy was giving me this evil smile. I've seen so many scary movies i know an evil smile when i see one. I told my dad to make sure all the doors and windows were locked and that nobody got in. I then woke up. The dream doesn't seem so bad I know. But I am extremely paranoid about that kind of thing. It was probably close to 60 or 70 degrees in my room and i covered up with 3 comforters. No matter how hard i tried i couldn't close my eyes. Hardly even to blink. I looked from side to side, positive someone was in my sisters bed waiting for me to make a move so they could kill me. I was afraid if i even put a toe over the bed it was immediatly get chopped off. So finally i put a pillow next to me on one side between me and the wall so no one could climb up and kill me. I then turned and stared out into my room. Waiting. I was finally calming a little bit. Well enough so i wasn't shaking any more when my bed started to shake on its own. I started hearing footsteps and doors open and close. I started praying. Dear god help me. I know i haven't been the best person ever but please help me. I can't close my eyes. I can't think. I can't do anything help me PLEASE. Amen. I grabbed the blanket i've had forever and a stuffed animal and clutched the necklace ian gave me in my hand tightly. No matter what nothing was changing. I kept thinking of scarier and scarier things. Just when I thought I was going to be awake for the rest of the night my sister cried out, "It's to hot." I breathed a sigh of relief and waited for her to talk more. It seemed like hours but she finally started yelling MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I peeked over a little and said, Mia? She looked up and saw me. I said hold on and turned on the light. I then asked her if anyone was in her bed. She said no and i peeked down more. No one. I quickly jumped down and scooped her up into my arms. I then opened my door slowly. No one. I ran and turned on the kitchen light. We then ran to my Moms room and told her. She prayed over us and brought us back to bed after all of us went to the bathroom. I also told her it didn't help that we left our door open. Just the screen door blocking us. I laid down and my mom left my door open with the kitchen light off. I fell asleep but again I dreamed. This time of someone in my room. They had already killed my whole family and they just wanted to talk to me. Just talk. Not kill. I was so nervous it was hard not to scream. But I managed and lived.



It probably didn't help that a couple of weeks ago I saw silence of the lambs. For those of you who don't know it's about this killer, Buffalo Bill, and a detective who enlists the help of the most dangerous criminal in the insane asylum. Hanabel the Canable. He gets out. The look of him is so scary. I just kept picturing those eyes in my sleep. Thankfully no one was in my house this morning.



Any way. Away from that. The song I chose for today is Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. I love this song so much. It's about a girl who likes a guy and he has a girlfriend but she knows he likes her and he knows she likes him. The girl keeps trying to steal the guy but the girlfriend clings tighter and tighter to him. The last dance was rather disappointing because the DJ didn't have this song. We were all rather put out because of it. Josh, Ians friend, on the other hand hates this song. With a very fiery passion. This weekend whenever I listened to it he yelled at me to turn it off or changed the lyrics to fit his mood. Such as: "hey hey you you i don't like your music. No way no way think you need some new songs" I like the lyrics "In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger. Cuz i can. Cuz i can do it better. There's no other so when's it gonna sink. Shes so stupid what the h#*& were you thinking!?" I love this video because the girlfriend is rather ugly.. and a tad bit geeky. Well more than a tad. And avril is rather cool and pretty in it. The guy could be better. :) but of course the lyrics:

Lyrics Avril Lavigne Lyrics

the video :)

Don’t say you simply lost your way

The weekend has been interesting. I have been talking to Ian's friend Josh all weekend. Ian has refused to speak with me because i agreed with Lindsey when she said a guy was OK looking. It was interesting when we did try to talk. Either he got mad or I did. Therefore i spent the weekend talking to Josh. Though this morning Ian and I talked it out and we are all .. good now i suppose.

Earlier this afternoon I went swimming with my sister. Before you go picturing a big pool or lake or even the Oconto River, it was her little kiddie pool. That came up to my ankles. She did somehow manage to get me entirely wet. That was with the hose of course. We had fun even if the water was barely above 40 degrees.

Saturday night my dad's girlfriend, Denise, put blonde highlights in my hair. I like them a lot. Of course they are not all the way through but they look pretty good. Ian says I now have an excuse to act 'blonde' as he calls it. I have to admit I have been a bit of a klutz today. I've been awake since 3 am because i couldn't get back to sleep. So when i got out of bed at 8:00 i fell out of bed. Literally. Then when i went to walk out of the bathroom i accidentally ran into the wall. I had forgotten to open my eyes. when I went downstairs to bring the laundry down the hamper hit the door bounced back into me i hit a stair and dropped the phone, falling down flat on the stairs. Finally when I was stepping into the pool with my sister she tried to trip me. Of course her being only 4 and her foot only half mine i shouldn't have fallen but i slipped and fell flat on my back splashing half the water out of the pool. Not a good day for me.

The song i chose to talk about today is Never Again by Kelly Clarkson. I like this song because it shows anger and hate towards a guy who used her or cheated on her. The first line in the song is 'I hope the ring you gave to her, turns her finger green.' Quite a few of my friends have said that's their favorite line. My favorite line is 'Never again will I kiss you, Never again will i WANT to, never again will i love you. never' Kelly Clarkson is an amazing singer in my opinion. The way she is able to project her sound even in her chest voice. I didn't care for some of the songs on her first CD such as I hate my self for Losing you and Hear me. Those songs didn't move me but some of the others did such as Beautiful Disaster and Behind these hazel eyes. It was funny. When i first started hearing Behind These Hazel Eyes on the radio my mom had said to me that you never hear a song about people with hazel eyes (both me and her have them). There's songs about blue eyes brown eyes green eyes. I heard this song and she said, "Oh that's great. A girl is singing a song about Hazel eyed girls." I prevented myself from saying at least I found one. this was a while ago though. The lyrics of course.

Lyrics Kelly Clarkson Never Again Lyrics
and the video

Lyrics Kelly Clarkson Never Again Lyrics

I'm gonna get on my knee's and pray to the Lord

Good Morning! The other day I was talking on the phone to Ian and his friend Josh when Mia walked in the room. I asked her who she liked more. Ian. Who is nicer? Ian Who's dumber? YOU. Of course both the boys laughed hysterically at me. She is a stinker. Last night I guess she went into my moms room because my mom was in my room putting her back to bed. I was facing away from her and all of a sudden something started covering me up. It scared me a little bit but I then knew it was just my mom being the mom she is. Putting the blankets over me so I don't get cold.

A few nights ago I got a nasty little shock. I found out four of my friends were have a sleepover and I knew nothing of it. I called a different friend and she said that they were going home coming dress shopping but she didn't want to go. Immediatly I call my friend and she explains that one of the others didn't want me to go. I told Lindsey, my best friend ever, why would she listen to one of them? She said that she really wanted me to go but Briley, the girl, didn't want me to. I asked Briley then and she said that she was sorry but it seemed like I was mad at her. I wasn't trying to be but I apologized anyway. She said she'd be willing to go shopping with me later, but i said I'd go with her but I wouldn't but my dress. I'm going to wait until homecoming. Ah well, I've got three months.

The workers are gone. They finished yesterday. The roof looks nice. Last night we all sat outside during a thunderstorm under our knew roof. It was nice. I don't understand why it's green but It's not up to me. I actually got to sleep a little bit more in today because they weren't here. I slept until 8:30. On the dot. We're now watching Thomas the Engine. One of the engines is sick. Or.. well how trains get sick.

Another thing, I asked Ian's grandma, Shirley, or otherwise known as peach, if she liked cappucino or coffee better. She said Coffee. She left and in like 3 hours later or so she came back and started talking how she doesn't like cappucino because she tasted it once and it was bad. It was extremely weird. Last night Peach and my mom talked about Ian coming here for the two middle weeks in July. I can't wait. On June 19th it'll be one year. My mom gave me the greatest idea of what to get him. I'm not going to say what it is because of the chance he'll read it.

People always ask what's my favorite song. I don't really have one. I like most types except classic rock and oldies. I can't stand the beetles. The Nylons are ok. I like acapella alot because i can sing it rather well. My favorite Acapella piece is Good Old Acapella. I like this piece because it talks about the rythm and the sound. It sounds so sweet. Soul to soul. Brother to Brother. Acapella. Sounds good to me. you can find the lyrics here: http://www.klarnet.net/nylons--good_old_acappella_free_mp3_downloads_109340.htm. My favorite country piece has to be homewrecker by gretchen wilson. Just the power and the humor behind her words makes me want to sing it over and over again. Gretchen Wilson knows how to sing her music and put feeling in her words whether its about being a redneck or telling everyone to back off because he's her man. I love her music. The next music thing I have next is probably a rehersal for Jazz Choir. Hopefully Ms. Thiel will change her mind and let us preform.

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

Ok. I know i haven't typed forever. That's because i was discouraged that no one was reading this. Then it hit me today, it's because i didn't tell anyone!! School is out anyway. I made it to jazz choir. I'm going to be in highschool next year! All my friends and I are so nervous. We all exchanged hugs on the last day of school(friday) and promised to call then parted. Since then I have talked to at least 4 of them online but that's it. Ian started a blog also today. It's http://blog-of-a-teen.blogspot.com/ . His blog is a little different then mine.
The book I started forever ago i have worked on an embarrassingly little amount. I am not exactly the best at writing so i get discouraged often. The few things I am good at are singing and typing. For the last day of school I got a certificate saying I typed 113 words per minute with 100% accuracy. My teacher (retiring this year) spelt my name wrong on this certificate.
Right now I am readin ga book called Demon in my View. It is about this girl, Jessica, who writes a book and publishes it under a fake name so no one knows its her. The book is about vampires and a fight between them. Little does she know she's actually writing the past of a real life vampire. The vampire, Aubrey, is a little angry that she knows so much detail and sets out to kill her. She does not yet know she's in fact writing real life instead of fiction. I have yet to finish it. I checked out two other books by the same auther(whose name is failing me now) today because I joined the library summer program. It's every year where you have to read a lot of books and fill out sheets on them and you win prizes for it. Completely free. My mom and sister are also in the program.
Life is quiet today compared to yesterday. I woke up at 6:30 to workers banging on the roof and loud country music outside my window. I got up grudingly and dressed quickly. When i go to sleep though, i put blankets over my windows to blog out the light. When I went to take the one down thats next to my bed I got quite a shock. Staring back at me was one of the workers! I nearly fell out of the bed. I some how managed to avoid their music for the whole day. It was impossibly to avoid the banging. I watched my sister the whole day yesterday and that was quite an excorcise.
Today, my mom took my sister and me to my Great Grandma Bunn's house. We hung out there for two hours. I just read while my sister chattered away. Nana calls her chatty cathy. The other day when Mia was sitting on bumpa's (my stepgrandfather) lap she turned to my grandma and uncle and said quite clearly, 'Bumpa is ALWAYS right.' She's quite the monster. When my grandma asked Mia who called her chatty cathy she said bumpa's dad. When quite in fact it was bumpa's younger brother. Today my mom had me take pictures of items that my Grandpa Trever is selling on Ebay. A lot of it looks like junk to me (my mom agrees) but i guess they get some good money for it.
My family is fascinated with birds. I don't understand why. They just annoy me alot and they never stop chirping. They say it's beautiful. Calming. It's fun finding out what birds they have. I don't get that. The chirping is not like a song. A song has words, lyrics. It has a melody that changes and flows like a river. Chirping is not peaceful to me. It's bothersome. Music is much more peaceful.
The last song i sang as a choir was Seasons of Love from RENT. We did not put solo's in it we just sang the whole thing through. This song is sang during the actual broadway production when they are changing scenes (or so my father tells me). During the movie it's just sang at the beginning. The man who wrote RENT, Jonathan Larson, died the night before the musical opened. This musical is very moving to me and very powerful. The message is different for everyone. My favorite character in this production would have to be Mark. He is caught in the middle of everything. Most of his friends are sick, his girlfriend broke up with him, his bestfriend moved away, he made a movie but doesn't want it produced by a tabloid tv station. His life seems the most compliacted to me. A lot of questions are answered at this website: http://www.funtrivia.com/en/Humanities/Rent-13244.html I read through it and was able to answer a lot of the questions before i read the answers.
Well thats all for now I suppose. I have to do the laundry, call the boyfriend, and relax the hands. Until then measure your life in love.